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Jackie Mason

Jackie Mason

Birthday: 9 June 1931, Sheboygan, Wisconsin, USA
Birth Name: Jacob Moshe Maza
Height: 165 cm

Jackie Mason was born on June 9, 1931 in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, USA as Jacob Moshe Maza. He is an actor and writer, known for One Angry Man (2010), Jackie Mason: An Equal Opportunity Offender (1995) an ...Show more

Jackie Mason
I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win Show more I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future. Hide
My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies. My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.
If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because Show more I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times. Hide
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
A schmuck like Bernie Sanders pops out who doesn't even know what's going on and doesn't care. Becau Show more A schmuck like Bernie Sanders pops out who doesn't even know what's going on and doesn't care. Because to him Israel getting wiped out is no problem. Climate change is the only problem. To him, the most important thing in the world is climate change. If Israel gave up their country but they fought for climate change, he would love Israel. In ten minutes, they would be his favorite country. Hide
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if Show more My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me. Hide
Predictions are preposterous. Predictions are preposterous.
It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.
I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to. I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.
I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs. I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.
I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosoph Show more I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about. Hide
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason's FILMOGRAPHY
as Actor (19)
Gomovies